I've lost all hopes of a fairy tale life. Honestly, I'm too tired to be energetic again.

I feel lifeless though life motions for my movement each day. But deep down inside I just want to bury my head and hide. Don't ask me why suddenly I feel so small. Yes, I have been doing pretty well all along.

I placed all dramas of life behind me. Yet here I stand, wishing that Grandpa was here so I can turn to him to give me faith. But I know I can't. I know I have to look forward to something that can give me strength. I will soon.

Something is wrong with me, I admit that. Where in between coping with work, school has become a burden. It doesn't help when nobody close in particular understands. Well, maybe aunt does since she is in this position but she's so busy these days we can barely talk. I missed her though. So each time I try to tell tales of school or work, it only seems to me that I'm giving away my weakness to people. I have feelings too but everybody expects to keep me in check.

I try telling people that I am struggling with school, and all I get is a blank look. I am giving it away that I have difficulties but somehow no one listens. Then just wait for the results or see me suffer, then they'll know. Gosh, I'm tired.

riyah starr@ 11:13 am