It isn't my fault that things turned out this way.I didn't expect it to anyways.I've tried helping once and that one time was enough for me.I SAID ENOUGH!So it ain't my problem that my own mother wanted to have some things to do with this matter.Yes, people are not blind.Certainly not me.I see and i tell what i think i know so that i can indirectly help you.Just one moment you had shattered your own dreams.Don't blame me that this family runs into problems, you created them.You tried to avoid it all but it comes back haunting you over and over.Now not only have you hurt yourself, you've hurt the one person you shouldn't hurt at all; MUM!

It breaks my heart because all this has got nothing to do with me yet people put me in the spot.How would you feel if i hide something from you?Even though i tried to, i can never hide anything because i trusted you enough.My strength has now crumbled to the lowest it has as i face these pressures around me by myself.I've lost ALL sense of directions since i started working.Can i blame myself?Yes, i certainly can!I lost direction when i seek less in my prayers and i let fatigueness consume me.I loved myself but only to find myself disliking the person i have found within.How do i tell my family that happiness means nothing to me anymore?How dare i lie to myself about happiness when people within my reach are faking it themselves?

I don't know how to help anymore.I just want to give in.I just want to give up.On everything that i ever have and everything that i'll most likely never have.At times like this i wished things would be better.But i know it won't.I need to repair myself in order to stop myself from crying each day.

riyah starr@ 11:38 pm