I'm sick of being at home and hearing them nag me.I don't know how many times i have to tell them that i am a messy person but i'll clean up when i have the time.I don't know why they take me for granted just like everybody else always does.Well, not exactly everybody but just somebody.
I tried my best to fulfil the responsibilities of a daughter and a sister at home.So i don't know why the bickering.I tried to mend the torn pieces of my sister's life.I thought that everything was going to be okay.But it took a wrong turn.Over something so trivial i nearly wanna laugh out loud.If it wasn't the guy, i would have killed her right then.So stupid for even mentioning that she didn't wanna have any commitments.Stupid for even entering the relationship from the start.I;m not going to interfere anymore.And even if she does ask for my help. i'm just going to say sorry i can't do that anymore.
When i do have my free time from work, all i wanna do is to relax.But to relax is to show that i'm being a lazy person.But i tried to do the work around the house.I iron the clothes for like five people and i put their clothes before mine.The piles of clothing itself can take me hours to iron and i still have much more to iron.They think that i have many hours on my days to do all the things at once.I don't even wanna make plans anymore cause it's just tiring and time-consuming and they would think that i wanna get away from the house.But when she does it, it seems okay.Oh my god, i feel like crying right now!
And as a friend, i did my best to put together a team.But i was wrong.When Nani told me about that little gathering of theirs, i was taken aback.Shocked from realising that my so called team was forgetting me and her.Not that i really care after some time, but i was just feeling so utterly stupid for being bothered about their lifes when all they do is care about themselves.I don't care if they feel hurt from this cause the truth in the matter is that they should see themselves hurting me.Thanks for being a great bunch of friends!How i needed that!
Work has been getting pretty stressful lately.The lack of manpower seems to be alright.The worse is the new people.It's almost like we don't need new people at all and let the oldies handle everything by ourselves.Saturday was one hell of a day.Poor Joanne darling to open the station after the SM1 went missing.And then poor me for having to forego my ticketing position all cause the rovers were a bunch of newbies.It's still okay considering that i have always been doing ticketing.But oh my goodness, i can vomit blood.No enthusiasm and no sense of urgency!ARGHHH!
So today is my off day.I should have asked to go back to work.The first thing the sister wanted me to do was to follow her for her check-up.Of course, i didn't!I've sacrificed myself to follow her around when i'm damn tired and when i waited for her the other day, she gave me a face full of shit.So she started being sarcastic about throwing my things since i'm making a mess.Well, thank you very much!So she's outta the house and i'm here.Fuck, her check-up is only at Clementi for goodness sake.If it was Hafiz i have to send, it would mean something else.If she dares to get on my nerves today, i'll just do what the normal sane sister does (:
And Sunday is my other off day.Planned to take my youngest aunt out for a little window-shopping.I've missed her and it seems like the last time i saw her was a month ago on her birthday.I wanna get her out of her house which seems like another prison to her.I wished that my grandmother would have been more appreciative of her.I don't understand why she's feeling that way.For all i care, she should just be placed somewhere on the streets.I'm not trying to be mean, but just try to imagine being in my position.
So i'm done blogging today.MY apologies for the rather depressing entry.I kept things way too long and way too much.
I tried my best to fulfil the responsibilities of a daughter and a sister at home.So i don't know why the bickering.I tried to mend the torn pieces of my sister's life.I thought that everything was going to be okay.But it took a wrong turn.Over something so trivial i nearly wanna laugh out loud.If it wasn't the guy, i would have killed her right then.So stupid for even mentioning that she didn't wanna have any commitments.Stupid for even entering the relationship from the start.I;m not going to interfere anymore.And even if she does ask for my help. i'm just going to say sorry i can't do that anymore.
When i do have my free time from work, all i wanna do is to relax.But to relax is to show that i'm being a lazy person.But i tried to do the work around the house.I iron the clothes for like five people and i put their clothes before mine.The piles of clothing itself can take me hours to iron and i still have much more to iron.They think that i have many hours on my days to do all the things at once.I don't even wanna make plans anymore cause it's just tiring and time-consuming and they would think that i wanna get away from the house.But when she does it, it seems okay.Oh my god, i feel like crying right now!
And as a friend, i did my best to put together a team.But i was wrong.When Nani told me about that little gathering of theirs, i was taken aback.Shocked from realising that my so called team was forgetting me and her.Not that i really care after some time, but i was just feeling so utterly stupid for being bothered about their lifes when all they do is care about themselves.I don't care if they feel hurt from this cause the truth in the matter is that they should see themselves hurting me.Thanks for being a great bunch of friends!How i needed that!
Work has been getting pretty stressful lately.The lack of manpower seems to be alright.The worse is the new people.It's almost like we don't need new people at all and let the oldies handle everything by ourselves.Saturday was one hell of a day.Poor Joanne darling to open the station after the SM1 went missing.And then poor me for having to forego my ticketing position all cause the rovers were a bunch of newbies.It's still okay considering that i have always been doing ticketing.But oh my goodness, i can vomit blood.No enthusiasm and no sense of urgency!ARGHHH!
So today is my off day.I should have asked to go back to work.The first thing the sister wanted me to do was to follow her for her check-up.Of course, i didn't!I've sacrificed myself to follow her around when i'm damn tired and when i waited for her the other day, she gave me a face full of shit.So she started being sarcastic about throwing my things since i'm making a mess.Well, thank you very much!So she's outta the house and i'm here.Fuck, her check-up is only at Clementi for goodness sake.If it was Hafiz i have to send, it would mean something else.If she dares to get on my nerves today, i'll just do what the normal sane sister does (:
And Sunday is my other off day.Planned to take my youngest aunt out for a little window-shopping.I've missed her and it seems like the last time i saw her was a month ago on her birthday.I wanna get her out of her house which seems like another prison to her.I wished that my grandmother would have been more appreciative of her.I don't understand why she's feeling that way.For all i care, she should just be placed somewhere on the streets.I'm not trying to be mean, but just try to imagine being in my position.
So i'm done blogging today.MY apologies for the rather depressing entry.I kept things way too long and way too much.
riyah starr@ 11:47 am