Only loneliness and silence fills me up inside.
If every gorgeous looking people is gay, i might as well be one myself. Gorgeous gorgeous Brad Virata (:
He who waits
When grandchildren and youngest aunt celebrate festivity without the one man we loved so much.

I suppose i'm losing my appetite real quick.Something must be wrong with me until i couldn't eat proper food proper.Ever spoonful seems like torture as i swallow food which could be thrown out of my mouth at any time.It's sickening how i can't seem to savour food like i used to.Even Long John's seems like a chore.I didn't really enjoy the food yesterday.I need my appetite back so i could stay away from the pain that i've been suffering from.

I love every moment of yesterday despite the food thingy.ViVo City made both Nani&I feel alienated in Singapore itself.We decided to eat first but we couldn't find the proper directory.So i decided to call my brother who told me that LJS was at 2nd level.2nd level was huge so we had to sniff our way to LJS cause that was indeed the one thing that helped us detected the place.Went around window shopping first and taking pictures of the stuff we wanted to buy.In the end, we went to buy some pants and tops.Another fruitful outing cum shopping.I love shopping!That's amazing cause i used to hate shopping!Being a woman is good (:

I hope tomorrow's plan goes as per normal.I'm getting bored with just staying at home and doing nothing for the whole day.And i wish that money would drop from Heaven and bless us with shopping trips.I'm looking forward to spending most of my time on books and PS2.I can't wait until my brother comes back from Thailand next week.Weird how i'm saying that even though he has not left for it yet.

The family has been great!Nothing much happened after that family meeting.But i'm feeling the emptiness even more now.Cause i still recall those times after my O Levels i would constantly visit my grandparents over the weekend.Now it seems like there is no purpose to even visit.I need to understand things a bit better and make sure that people do not treat me like i'm a minute kinda thing.Sometimes i just can't help feeling people who are the closest to me take me for granted.Maybe i'm having yet another hallucination moment.

I'm an illusion to myself.Thanks!

Well everybody got an opinion now, dont they?

But it aint no thing to me

It really dont make any difference now to me if you dont like what you see

I pay no mind to the negative kind

Cause thats just no way to be

I dont stop to please someone else's need

Gonna live my life for me

I'm gonna keep on im gonna do my own thing

We all got a song that we're meant to sing

No matter what people might say or thing

I aint going no place im here to stay

Gonna keep on doing my thing

Whether they love or they hating on me

I'll still be the same girl i used to be

Cause i aint going no place

I'm here to stay

-Christina Aguilera

riyah starr@ 3:15 pm