dear mummy&daddy,
it saddens me to hear about grandfather.the state he is in right now makes me recall what he was once to me.as a young girl, i always regarded him as my hero.sometimes, i still think of him as a hero.for he was the man, who brought you up daddy.for he was the man, who gave you everything as well as unfairness.sometimes,i dont wish to think that i know him.because he sets you aside daddy and look to you only as a rebel.because he favours all your other siblings and the other grandchildren, and leave us all to think we are different from them all.and i know we are not.
i cannot promise you that i will keep my word to visit him anytime soon.because both of you look to me with hopes that i might put the past behind me.both of you wish for me to see him before its too late.i wish that i can be strong.i am learning.i am getting stronger by the day.but i have not forgotten what has happened to us.how we suffered.how we cried.how we feared, the same man who i respected and looked up to.i can only pray that one day[hopefully soon], ill let you know firmly and honestly, that im going to visit him.but that is only if the both of you are there beside me.in my mind, i envision the sadness in his eyes.i wonder if he regrets treating us like this?i wonder if he regrets.
and deep inside, i know i want to forget what was in the past.i do.i will try mummy&daddy so that i shall see him again before it all ends.i cannot imagine still the cruelty that my flesh and blood have put him in.i promise to be strong.that i shall keep my word.i love you both.and i shall never want to imagine you in the state that grandfather is in now.I LOVE YOU SO (:
with love,
riyah
that was just my thougts!i sincerely will keep to that promise (: i have bought my shoes (: yeapies!!!thanks much aishah,huda and mark for accompanying me to buy my shoes.aishah made me sound like a KPO just now cause i wanted to buy the shoes when huda initiated it.or am i wrong?maaf ye i nie STM jugak.ermm,so i bought the shoes (: what more can i say?-hahahahaha-
tomorrow, we all will be receiving our malay results.im truly scared though i try to act like there is nothing wrong with me.-hehehehe-and im even more frustrated and more disaapointed with myself.failed yet another GP timed assignment.sometimes, i wonder what the hell happened to me.and whats the point exactly being good in my A levels subjects while my GP stinks to the core.?i really really really hope that my GP will improve with time.please please!!
im still thinking of you.
thinking of you.
to the time that will never be.
it saddens me to hear about grandfather.the state he is in right now makes me recall what he was once to me.as a young girl, i always regarded him as my hero.sometimes, i still think of him as a hero.for he was the man, who brought you up daddy.for he was the man, who gave you everything as well as unfairness.sometimes,i dont wish to think that i know him.because he sets you aside daddy and look to you only as a rebel.because he favours all your other siblings and the other grandchildren, and leave us all to think we are different from them all.and i know we are not.
i cannot promise you that i will keep my word to visit him anytime soon.because both of you look to me with hopes that i might put the past behind me.both of you wish for me to see him before its too late.i wish that i can be strong.i am learning.i am getting stronger by the day.but i have not forgotten what has happened to us.how we suffered.how we cried.how we feared, the same man who i respected and looked up to.i can only pray that one day[hopefully soon], ill let you know firmly and honestly, that im going to visit him.but that is only if the both of you are there beside me.in my mind, i envision the sadness in his eyes.i wonder if he regrets treating us like this?i wonder if he regrets.
and deep inside, i know i want to forget what was in the past.i do.i will try mummy&daddy so that i shall see him again before it all ends.i cannot imagine still the cruelty that my flesh and blood have put him in.i promise to be strong.that i shall keep my word.i love you both.and i shall never want to imagine you in the state that grandfather is in now.I LOVE YOU SO (:
with love,
riyah
that was just my thougts!i sincerely will keep to that promise (: i have bought my shoes (: yeapies!!!thanks much aishah,huda and mark for accompanying me to buy my shoes.aishah made me sound like a KPO just now cause i wanted to buy the shoes when huda initiated it.or am i wrong?maaf ye i nie STM jugak.ermm,so i bought the shoes (: what more can i say?-hahahahaha-
tomorrow, we all will be receiving our malay results.im truly scared though i try to act like there is nothing wrong with me.-hehehehe-and im even more frustrated and more disaapointed with myself.failed yet another GP timed assignment.sometimes, i wonder what the hell happened to me.and whats the point exactly being good in my A levels subjects while my GP stinks to the core.?i really really really hope that my GP will improve with time.please please!!
im still thinking of you.
thinking of you.
to the time that will never be.
riyah starr@ 6:33 pm