i cant even begin my day with much peace today.
yes, my mother was angry with me no apparent reason.
since days back, i've already told her that i didnt wanna go with her and dad to sentosa.
i've been there, done that.
and the fact that its always me following around like a god-damn maid.
i would rather stay at this freaking home and do my stuff.
so she was saying how i could follow my friends around if they wanna go out.
so THAT pissed me of real BAD.
the fact that she just runs her mouth to hurt my feelings.
so it wasnt wrong at all for me to say to her before, if im gone or never existed, her life would be a whole lot better.
she doesnt have to worry about an extra being who bears so much burden.
my father was more supportive of my decision.
he just told my mother that if i didnt wanna go, its okay cause it would be pointless forcing me to.

as much as i do respect my parents and would want to go with every single thing they say, i feel that i do need my own breathing space.
these past few days had been hell for me.
i've been busying myself with household chores so they would shut their mouths.
but fact is i did it cause i felt i had a part to do in this family.
but whatever i seem to do is never enough.
NOT enough.

everytime i feel like giving up, i think of my family and what they have done for me.
but somehow, i miss the link that they do care for me.
-sighs-

im feeling sick already.
sick with a lot of things.

riyah starr@ 10:01 am