the chapter of khairiyah mckenzie
couldnt do much yesterday and today.feels tiring but not sure from what.maybe its just a mind trick on my part.took me almost two hours to come up with the points for my GP essay.great!this shows that im pretty slow in my thoughts lately.its either im becoming more dumb or just too old to think properly.
courts, lawyers, money, family.doesnt seem to make any sense to me?why cant they just end their dispute in a nicer fashion than that?all they care about is themselves and yes, that i know very well.if she doesnt care about her own mother, what more her own father-in-law.there goes the almost recovered wound.its now left open with bacteria attacking it that she [in this case me] cant handle things that she hear.yes, i should leave these worries to the adults to care for.but no, i cant.as a member of this family, i have the right to worry about their beings.and i care for mummy.lets just hope things will work out for daddy soon.ill be praying for you daddy!all the time!!
and yesterday was just peaceful.laughters and smiles.means more wrinkles in the near future.hahaha.i cant help recalling the fact that i was laughing so hard that even tears fell down my cheeks which i didnt even realise.part of me just wanna burst out crying right then but i couldnt cause i was just too happy.and so i still hold backthe pain that i just wanna cry out loud.i do.!!
okays back to my second point.i feel like my world should just crumble.maybe its a part of me that i should blame.yes,i definitely should.i cant make anyone understand the way i feel.cause no matter what i tell people, i cant just let them know how i truly feel.and maybe its really time that i consider taking a part time job during the holidays.no, the money wont be for myself.i wanna contribute o this family.seeing how my father have to save every penny that he's got to bring us to terms with so many things kinda make me feel that i've been blessed.and seeing that now im faced with so many problems i cant seem to help with, it makes me feel helpless.i worry if daddy finds out about dee's bank account.his hard work washed down the drained.i worry if we couoldnt meet end meets cause the children dont know how to save. maybe i should starve myself so i can account for my own bills and such.i cannot describe how painful it is to hear the aftermath of grandmother's crying on the phone.it breaks my heart that i cant be there for her.and yes, my aunt was stupid so stupid that karma has reached her.she desrved it.not my grandmother.if i can find a way to help, i would.and findinf a job might be out of the option cause i have my commitments to council.orientation again so i have to be there for them.sighs.
as i resurface from my recovery, i watch as my world crumble again.
couldnt do much yesterday and today.feels tiring but not sure from what.maybe its just a mind trick on my part.took me almost two hours to come up with the points for my GP essay.great!this shows that im pretty slow in my thoughts lately.its either im becoming more dumb or just too old to think properly.
courts, lawyers, money, family.doesnt seem to make any sense to me?why cant they just end their dispute in a nicer fashion than that?all they care about is themselves and yes, that i know very well.if she doesnt care about her own mother, what more her own father-in-law.there goes the almost recovered wound.its now left open with bacteria attacking it that she [in this case me] cant handle things that she hear.yes, i should leave these worries to the adults to care for.but no, i cant.as a member of this family, i have the right to worry about their beings.and i care for mummy.lets just hope things will work out for daddy soon.ill be praying for you daddy!all the time!!
and yesterday was just peaceful.laughters and smiles.means more wrinkles in the near future.hahaha.i cant help recalling the fact that i was laughing so hard that even tears fell down my cheeks which i didnt even realise.part of me just wanna burst out crying right then but i couldnt cause i was just too happy.and so i still hold backthe pain that i just wanna cry out loud.i do.!!
okays back to my second point.i feel like my world should just crumble.maybe its a part of me that i should blame.yes,i definitely should.i cant make anyone understand the way i feel.cause no matter what i tell people, i cant just let them know how i truly feel.and maybe its really time that i consider taking a part time job during the holidays.no, the money wont be for myself.i wanna contribute o this family.seeing how my father have to save every penny that he's got to bring us to terms with so many things kinda make me feel that i've been blessed.and seeing that now im faced with so many problems i cant seem to help with, it makes me feel helpless.i worry if daddy finds out about dee's bank account.his hard work washed down the drained.i worry if we couoldnt meet end meets cause the children dont know how to save. maybe i should starve myself so i can account for my own bills and such.i cannot describe how painful it is to hear the aftermath of grandmother's crying on the phone.it breaks my heart that i cant be there for her.and yes, my aunt was stupid so stupid that karma has reached her.she desrved it.not my grandmother.if i can find a way to help, i would.and findinf a job might be out of the option cause i have my commitments to council.orientation again so i have to be there for them.sighs.
as i resurface from my recovery, i watch as my world crumble again.
riyah starr@ 4:25 pm