the chapter of khairiyah mckenzie

no mood left in me.
poisoned with a bit of uncertainty.
drenched with pain of being unloved.
filled with pretentious laughter.
drained with sickening fucking stupid emotions.

tried my best to please myself.

yet i cant fool myself.

not any longer.

dont hold much expectations.

yet it failed me.

they failed me.

made me feel like im not worth their time.

was talkative today.

chatted muches with huda from home to school.

pretty upset i didnt get to go home with her.

made some people angry.

cant help running my mouth today.

sorry if i hurt your feelings.

jacky wasnt a good mood today.

didnt talk to him the whole day.

only managed to SMS him once then stopped cause i thought he was pretty cold towards me.

hope you feel better tomorrow aight jacky!

smiles darl :)

scary that i didnt talk to him lo.

but he creeps me up with his fierce expressions

SMS syirah during school but then she didnt get back to me.

sighs.

but i understand she might be busy or something.

coursework aight..??

i dont get it myself.

can i be wrong in what i hear or see?

i have gotta be right this time around.

cause i heard what i heard right.

why did you stop when i got near?

oh well.

i shall not try to ponder.

i need to talk to huda again.

need her to assure me that ill be fine.

let her tell me that she knows what im thinking.

and i miss hafiz so double much.

cant stand being so far away from him.

cant stand coming home and being isolated away from my brother's love.

cant stand cause i wanna cry already.

as i lay in silence.

i hope to cry out loud.

as i lay in fear.

i hope to go on still.

oh well.

i cant go on like this.

riyah starr@ 8:50 pm